Thursday, December 22, 2011
Empirical proof that Santa exists
OK, this should put to rest any argument about allowing Postal Carriers, schools and servicemen and women to celebrate the season with Santa. I have done extensive research and am now prepared to reveal proof that Santa in fact exists. (Extrinsic proof--I can already demonstrate the existence of Santa by the fact that I have never woken up on Christmas morning and not found a present under the tree with a card indicating it was 'from Santa'--just sayin'.) Above is a picture of a 100 year old letter from two children in Dublin written to Santa. In it, they tell him, "I want a baby doll and a waterproof with a hood and a pair of gloves and a toffee apple and a gold penny and a silver sixpence and a long toffee." According to the Irish Times, the slightly scorched letter was found in what used to be a shelf in an old fireplace that the owner discovered while installing central heating. Ergo, ipso facto, res ipsa loquitor, and all the other fancy Latin expressions I learned in law school for "duh!", Santa obviously dropped it going up or coming down the chimney. The fact that no mere mortal person discovered it for the better part of a century incontrovertibly proves the existence of Mr. Claus, for only he would have the means, ability and motive for gaining access to the chimney where the letter was found. I rest my case.