OK people, follow me closely here. This is important. Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, just filed for reorganization under chapter 11 of the Bankruptcy Code. The Twinkie factory is in Natick, Massachusetts, so that is certainly not good for the local economy. But that isn't what is so disturbing. As we all know, Twinkies are the one food known to mankind that can survive a nuclear explosion. This fact was popularized in the "da boom" episode (3rd episode, 2nd season) on the Family Guy which aired on Fox in December of 1999.
As I am sure you recall, Y2K caused a nuclear holocaust. Peter Griffin, presciently and against great derision, locked his family in the basement instead of attending a New Year's Eve party. Sure enough, at midnight the nukes launch and destroy much of civilization. Peter, not surprisingly, gets hungry. He remembers that Twinkies are the only food that can survive a nuclear explosion so he packs up the Griffin family and makes the trek from Rhode Island to nearby Natick. Sure enough, the Twinkie factory is the only surviving structure. The Griffins and humanity are saved.
This brings me to the troubling part. Per my earlier post, the Iranians are getting closer to becoming armed with nuclear weapons. If they get them, the nuclear holocaust will surely follow. If so, what are we going to do without the Twinkie factory!? Laugh if you want, but you ignore Peter Griffin's warning at your own peril.
4 comments:
Seems like we ought to be able to blame the First Lady and her healthy lifestyle push for this. But I have to be honest, Hostess has fiddled with their recipes so much (not to mention buying up Dolly Madison and Drake's and homogenizing their products too) I'm just not interested in buying their stuff any more.
Except Ho Hos. I can't eat too many though or I develop 'roid rage.
Startling, I must say and posted.
I tend to agree that the taste is not near as good as when I was a kid. I suspect it was taking all of those great saturated fats and carcinogens out. Why ruin the taste of junk food to make it "healthy"? If I want healthy, I'll eat healthy.
Margin collapse. Ingredients cost more, market can't/won't bear more at final retail (individual wraps list at $1.45 at my local overpriced grocer, but routinely sell at 10/$10).
Twinkies will survive, though, even if Hostess doesn't. Archway cookies (thanks be to G_d) survived the demise of their original maker.
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