Great quotes

Liz MacDonald compiled a list of her favorite humorous quotes.  I compiled (stole) a few that I liked the most, but you should peruse her full list:

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."— W. C. Fields, American humorist

"Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.”— Mark Twain, American author, humorist

“It’s easy being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you.”—Will Rogers, American humorist

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."— Winston Churchill

“It is doubly tainted. Taint yours and taint mine.”— Mark Twain, when challenged on the wealth of his friend, Standard Oil magnate H.H. Rogers, as being ‘tainted’

“Standing in the middle of road is very dangerous--you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.”— Dame Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister, Great Britain

“I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.”— Dame Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister, Great Britain

“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.”— Dame Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister, Great Britain

“If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.”— Dame Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister, Great Britain

“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”— Dame Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister, Great Britain

“I am ready to meet my maker. Whether He is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”— Winston Churchill.

“If you live like there’s no God, you’d better be right.”— Anonymous

"If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free."— P.J. O'Rourke, American humorist

"Bull markets are born in pessimism, grow on skepticism, mature on optimism, and die of euphoria."— Sir John Templeton, American businessman, philanthropist

"The four most dangerous words in investing are, 'It's different this time.'"— Sir John Templeton