Of course, this Fourth will not be the first time I have shot fireworks off in Maine. In fact, Borepatch and I had long running tradition of trying to light up the sky on the evening of our Country's independence. No worries, though, we long ago decided that the best idea was imbibe heavily all day because that way, it would hurt less if you managed to blow up an incendiary device in your hand. Of course, through the years, it never dawned on me to see what would happen if you lit up a whole fireworks store. Well, now I know.